Real talk

Inspiration comes from the strangest of places. I totally get it now, how musicians can write and produce hit records after experiencing extreme heartache, and how in that episode of 'You', Beck found the motivation to write her novel after a bit of encouragement from Joe (okay, he locked her in a glass room, but whatever) It has taken me until 10pm on the 24th day of January 2019 to even open up blogger and start writing something. Before now, I'll be honest, even looking at or thinking about my blog made me feel totally, well, meh. 

I've been feeling the change in blogging over the past few years, and I've just sort of rode the wave and observed from the sidelines how much the platform has changed since I wrote my first post 11 years ago. How it isn't even really about blogs and writing, or youtube and videos anymore, it's most often about your presence on instagram and the content you post there. I've never quite known my 'place' as the view around me changed in recent years. I've always tried to do my own thing, but it's bloody difficult not to compare yourself to your peers and want to try and keep up with the trends going on round about you.

This blog isn't my job. If it was my job, and I had deadlines to follow and targets to meet I think I would enjoy it even less. Even less than I do right now, and I guess you could say I'm not actually enjoying it right now anyway. I work well under pressure (which happens on the daily in my real life job) but this blog is something which I've never wanted to feel any pressure from. But sometimes, lack of pressure means lack of direction. Lack of direction results in you becoming uninspired and when I'm uninspired I just don't want to write. I don't know what to write. 

I enjoy instagram and twitter (most of the time) I enjoy taking selfies on a good makeup day, and sharing proud pictures of my baby, and chatting with people on insta stories, and being a little bit goofy and laughing a lot. I like memes, I like finding new tv shows and films through people I've only ever spoken to online. I love discovering new indie brands, seeing real pictures of real food I could eat at restaurants I'd like to visit. I love connecting with people who my path would probably never have crossed with pre internet era.

I filter my photographs, I tend to only share the good stuff (with a lot of honesty and openness when I do mention the shit times in life) and I am lucky enough to work with companies and experience some fun perks of having an online presence. But through it all, I think tonight I have came to a realisation, a really simple one. I could literally fucking spell it out to myself. I am not a brand, I am not 'my' brand. I am literally just me.

 I struggle to keep up with my own life sometimes, never mind keeping up with anything or anyone else. My online presence isn't my job, so I've decided I'm not going to let it worry me as much as it has been. It doesn't pay my bills, yet it keeps me up at night thinking I am falling behind in something. I'm not going to get wound up over my nostalgia for the 'good old days'. I'm just gonna let the inspiration come to me when it comes to me, like it used to before I got caught up in some imaginary (but also quite realistic at times) rat race. 

I think I struggle at times for content, because everything I share on instagram now is what I used to share on my blog. Shopping trips, food, makeup, adventures, tattoos. The lifestyle posts I used to write on here many years ago is essentially what I use instagram to share on a daily basis. It's such a quick and easy platform to use, but I feel like my poor blog has been neglected for it. Why spend an hour writing a big blog post when you can share a short and snappy highlight in a matter of minutes? When I really think about it, the reason above is because blogging used to be something I enjoyed, and instagram is something I have grown accustomed to out of habit.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to start sharing my proper lifestyle posts again on here, and rather than quickly offloading snippets of life onto instagram and twitter, I am going to give them their place on my good old blog like I used to. What or when that will be, I don't really know. I guess I just need to be ready to pounce whenever the inspiration starts to bubble inside of me. Soooo, maybe see you here, 10pm one evening in the not so distant future?!

I do believe there are still people out there who like to sit down and read longer entries with multiple photos. I do believe that old school blogging still has a place in the online world. It's maybe just sitting on the bench for a bit, but I do believe there will always be people who love to read and write on this type of platform. And I guess (and hope) if you are sitting reading this, then you believe it too ♥