On the 15th of February at 2.48pm, we welcomed our beautiful baby boy, Reuben Alexander Duthie into the world. If you follow me on other social media channels, there's no doubt you'll know this already as I have been sharing lots of pictures and videos of this little guy (can ya really blame me though?!) I didn't expect my last blog post to be the very last one I would write before his arrival, but he caught us rather off guard and was born three weeks early. This was just a few days after my baby shower (good timing huh!) So one month and one day later, we are settling into a sort of routine and I actually feel like I have the brain capacity and time while he sleeps, to share some pictures and his birth story.
On Sunday the 11th of February my Mum and my best friend Gemma had arranged a baby shower for me which we held at Pete's coffee shop in the west end. I bought myself a maternity dress from ASOS for the occasion, and some wide fit shoes from Primark because holy shit I was SO swollen by then (as you can tell by the photos - hello Michelin man) and had Alana at Onyx do my makeup in a bid to make me feel a little more human. Truth be told I was feeling pretty crap by this point. I'd torn muscles on both sides of my back, had terrible heartburn and wasn't sleeping, and was swollen to the point that none of my shoes fit me and I had to stop wearing my engagement ring a few weeks before that due to sausage fingers! I was SO ready not to be pregnant anymore and for our wee guy to make an appearance. Be careful what you wish for eh...
My Mum and Gemma did such an amazing job of organising the baby shower, with beautiful decor, delicious catering from local restaurant Hug & Pint, and lots of fun party games! I was hella emotional and extremely overwhelmed with the turn out and the thought they had put into every last detail. Reuben was lucky enough to receive so many wonderful gifts too, I'm still blown away by the generosity of my family and friends. This little dude has got a cracking wardrobe already! After that lovely day, I was 100% ready for him to arrive (apart from we were still waiting on his pram being delivered) and a few days later on the Wednesday we went up to the hospital for a final scan to find out if he was still breech and what the plan would be after that. Plot twist - after entering the hospital that afternoon I never left again, and Reuben was born the very next day.
I had a pretty low risk pregnancy throughout, but Reuben was always measuring slightly bigger than average, and when we first found out he was breech we knew this could be a problem as I wouldn't physically be able to deliver a baby of that size feet first. So at the scan on the 14th I was a day off 37 weeks (your due date is at 40 weeks) and if he was still breech then chances were he wasn't going to turn around head first before my due date and I would probably need to have a c section. Reuben was so big, infact, that they didn't even offer me an ECV (where the baby is turned from the outside) as they suspected it would be unlikely to work. At every consultant and midwife appointment they take a routine urine sample and blood pressure reading. So we started off the appointment after the scan being told that Reuben was still breech, and they would give me a date after 39 weeks to come in for a c section. I'd already came to terms with this outcome in my head as I just knew deep down that he wasn't going to turn on his own! But I was fine with it too - as long as the baby arrived here safely I genuinely didn't mind what way he came out. As we were chatting, the consultant was testing my urine, and her face turned to a look of concern. She then took my blood pressure - and all of a sudden the tone of the conversation changed. There were high traces of protein in my urine, and my blood pressure was through the roof, so basically I had developed pre-eclampsia which can lead to serious complications for Mum and Baby. So after finding that out the plan changed instantly, and I was told I wouldn't be leaving the hospital that night and that they would be delivering my baby the following morning. I was wheeled up to the ward and Pete went home to get our hospital bags. The next 24 hours after that felt like the longest wait of my life.
I was given a steroid injection at 3pm that day, then 3am again, to help with Reuben's lung development as babies born before 37 weeks can be at risk of complications developing. Pete was allowed to stay with me on the ward until 9pm, and was told to come back at 10am the next morning as they aimed to get me into surgery around midday. It genuinely felt like the longest night of my life. I didn't sleep much and spent a lot of time panic texting my nearest and dearest to let them know that baby would be born the next afternoon. 12pm came and went, and it was just a waiting game for us to get taken along to the operating theatre. It was around 2.15pm by the time we went through, and Pete got whisked away into another room to get his scrubs on while my amazing midwife Lucy walked me into theatre as I was sobbing my eyes out.
I was so scared and emotional. I'd been poked and prodded, had a drip in, bloods taken over and over - basically all the things I am terrified of, and I couldn't quite get my head around the fact that I was about to get major surgery. The anaesthetist was absolutely amazing and extremely kind towards me and my medical anxiety. The funny thing is, when you're covered in tattoos people tend to just raise an eyebrow when you say you're scared of needles! I genuinely spent 15 minutes trying to persuade Lucy that I didn't want/need a catheter in and that why couldn't she just let me piss myself! Haha anyways... everyone in the operating theatre was so lovely and reassuring, and explained exactly what they were doing when they were doing it. Once I'd had the spinal block administered (which you don't actually feel, because you get a local anaesthetic beforehand, just like a jag you'd get at the dentist) and was laid down on the bed, the sheet went up blocking my view and Pete was allowed to come in. He stayed at my side the whole time and comforted me (I was still crying throughout the whole damn thing) and I can only describe the sensation of the baby being pulled out to be like someone doing the dishes inside your stomach. You can feel a lot of tugging and movement, but no pain in the slightest. After around ten minutes (which felt like an eternity) Reuben entered the world! He didn't cry straight away, which apparently is quite common for babies born via c section, but as Lucy took him away quickly to check him over his lungs opened. She wrapped him up and brought him over to us, and my scared tears instantly turned to ones of happiness and relief. Pete held him as it took another 20 or so minutes for them to stitch me back up (my sense of time with this whole thing is pretty shoddy to be honest) and then he was tucked inside my hospital gown for some skin to skin contact as we were wheeled back through to the ward. I honestly couldn't believe it. The tiny human we had been waiting almost 9 months to meet was finally here.
Despite being 3 weeks early, Reuben still weighed a hefty 8lbs 10oz! So goodness knows what size he would have been if I'd went full term, or even a couple of weeks overdue as a lot of first time babies do. I got to go home a couple of days later on the Saturday, and have found c section recovery to be quite painful and slow, but definitely not as bad as what I thought it would be. Pete has been an absolute angel, doing everything for us, and he really kept the ship afloat in those first couple of weeks which he was able to take off work. My Mum has also been amazing, coming up and cooking and cleaning for us and letting me catch up on sleep. My Dad has been up walking the dog and bringing us supplies most weekends too. In fact all of my family and friends have been bloody amazing, I would be a shell of a person without them. Every food parcel, hug, and words of love and encouragement have been so gratefully received. I will literally never forget every small act of kindness during this intense but amazing new chapter of our life. Just over a month on, we are getting into the swing of things and into our own little routine. I've managed to get out the house a good handful of times, and on the train into town with the pram on my own. It's really strange for me having a total change in pace of life, and also losing a bit of my independence not being able to drive post c section. But I'm celebrating the tiny victories every day, and really relishing in the new things that Reuben is teaching me about myself. Lessons in kindness, patience, and pure unconditional love. Don't get me wrong, it's bloody difficult and the initial sleep deprivation is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. There's been a few times during the night feeds I've sat there in the dark and thought 'what have we done... life has changed drastically, forever!' - But then this tiny human looks up at you (sometimes smiling... and even if it's just cause they're trying to squeeze out a fart I don't care, it's still a smile!) and you realise that you are their everything. They depend on you and already love you unconditionally. And that's an indescribable feeling which I wouldn't change for the world.
