You guuuuys - I could not be more excited about typing out my 500th blog post on Little Blog Of Horrors, especially when the content of it is so very, very special to me. You probably already know the news if we're friends on facebook, or if you follow me on twitter/instagram. But yeah, holy shit, Pete and I are having a baby!
I think a good few of you had wondered why things had been a bit quiet around here lately. Apart from the usual work keeping me busy, I must admit I was really struggling to muster up the motivation to write any sort of blog post without just wanting to scream our news from the rooftops. Writing that Ibiza post was especially difficult, as I can tell you now I was stone cold sober for the whole trip. Which didn't affect my fun on holiday! It was great to have a break with the girls, who I'd already confided in and they looked after me with delicious mocktails and plenty of yummy food. But going to such a party place and not being able to fully let my hair down is just another reason why I would definitely like to go back and experience it all again.
I came off the pill towards the end of last year, after being on it since I was 15, and I can't tell you enough how much of a positive impact it has had on my mental health. I still have generalised anxiety disorder, but life feels much more manageable and I genuinely think a lot of my emotional outbursts were influenced by the pill. I don't regret coming off it for one second. If anything, I wish I had done it sooner. But of course, if you ain't careful and use another form of protection... you're opening the floodgates to a whoooole other thing - makin' babies!
I was around 4 weeks pregnant when I found out, my period was only a day late and I decided while picking up dinner in Tesco to throw a preggo test into the basket. They're handy to keep in the bathroom cabinet, I figure!? While I was waiting on dinner in the oven, I thought uch I may as well take that test, and I didn't expect for the positive result to come up SO CLEAR, and so fast. I then ran out to the shops to get another one (just to be sure) and again, undoubtebly and completely positive. I lay the two of them on the kitchen worktop just as Pete walked in the door. Ummmm, welcome home... surprise!
We are both over the moon with the news, and so are our friends and family. I've been lucky to not have that much sickness, apart from week 10 which was absolutely horrible. I've just been really tired and hungry (kinda no change from usual Ayden tbh) Getting the 12 week scan on monday just there made everything feel much more real. Seeing our baby, hearing it's heartbeat, watching him/her move around. Such a mad and wonderful experience, it's kinda hard to explain. I also found out that I'm actually 13 weeks and 5 days which makes my due date the 8th of March 2018. We've got a lot of learning, organising and planning to do before then, and I'd love to hear your own stories and tips about pregnancy and parenthood - so please keep drop me a message if you fancy a blether.
The only thing I am anxious about right now is my fear of having blood taken. May seem silly from someone who is covered in tattoos, but it's not the pain that bothers me, it's the actual sensation I just can't handle. At my 1st midwife appt all the colour drained from my face and my vision went fuzzy, I felt so faint and dizzy and I'm scared of that happening again. I'd just got myself really anxious and worked up over it more than anything else. So perhaps some sort of hypnosis (and for the birth too) would really help me to stay calm along the way. Again, any advice would be much appreciated.
Whether this is the 1st or 500th post you have read from me, I can't thank you enough for sticking around my little corner of the internet. I don't think I'll ever become a dedicated mummy blogger - but this wouldn't be me and my blog if I didn't document the journey from a totally open and honest perspective. Here's to the start of one hell of an adventure... ♥
