Sometimes the best present is to be present

I'm in a bit of a strange daze right now, mainly because my belly is full of pizza and Christmas chocolate and I've been sleeping silly amounts the past few days. It has been so nice to switch my brain off over the festive period, but now it's got to the point that even when I check my phone I still can't remember what day or date it is. The last week has been a total blur of food and laughter, between spending Christmas Day at my Mums, Boxing day at my Dads, and then the day after up at Pete's Dads. It was lovely to get out of the city, get some fresh air and go for walks (So although I've been quiet on here you can still follow my daily updates on Instagram)

I'm really looking forward to cracking out my new diary and notebook (okay, notebooks...) and getting organised for 2016. Along with getting back on the healthy living wagon. Seriously, I look about 5 months pregnant and feel hella sluggish! One of the pressies Pete got me for Christmas was a nutribullet, so I look forward to whizzing up ALL THE FRUIT AND VEGGIES while praying my body forgives me for how indulgent I've been. I had a glass of water this morning and it tasted like sweet nectar, as if I've been trawling through a desert for all of December. Caffeine and alcohol, y u no hydrate me? I feel bloody broken! 2016, I am so ready for you.

Normal service shall resume in the New Year, but I just wanted to pop my head in and say hello before then. How are you doing? How are you feeling? I know this time of year can be a big mixed bag of emotions for a lot of folk. Don't put yourself under ridiculous amounts of pressure for a 'new you' and a 'new chapter' as of 12.01am on 1/1/16 - this can start any time of any day, it doesn't need to be the 1st of January. You can start living the life you truly want to live, as SOON as you let yourself start living it. I've been following Cleo Wade on Instagram and have found a lot of comfort in her poetry and artwork. 'Let go of the old parts of you that you don't need. It makes room of all of the newness you do need'. 

I hope we can all find it in our heads and hearts to keep life that simple, and not over complicate it, because guess what -  it doesn't need to be complicated. A massive lesson I had to learn this year, which broke my bloody heart but at the same time I am grateful for those people and the experiences which they brought me. As soon as you become accepting of certain situations and how you can't control the outcome, then that internal war is over and you can save your energy and patience for a place which actually needs it. We win some battles and we lose some. Take whatever lessons you can from each one, brush yourself off and keep going. You've come this far, why give up now? We are literally all just making this shit up as we go along! This is coming from someone who worries herself sick about every god damn thing. I look forward to facing more things that scare me, because once I've experienced more and more of them (and realise that they don't kill me) I can confidently shout NEXT, please! Hopefully with time, less of my fears will actually phase me. I know that you can do the same, too.

Clear those cobwebs from your head, speak honest words to yourself, and just take baby steps towards whatever direction you want to move in. We are forever changing and forever developing through life, and all at very difference paces too. Wish your neighbour well on their journey and always extend a kind hand if they need it, but never forget to extend that hand of kindness to yourself too. I'll leave you with some photos and a short video I did with Boya of Moveit lookbook last month, which was another massive fear I managed to tick off the list! I'm always in my comfort zone shooting with Ashley, but posing for photographs with a complete stranger filled me with absolute fear. Luckily I had no reason to be worried at all, as Boya was absolutely lovely and it turned out to be a really fun afternoon. I'm definitely a firm believer in what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!

Hat - Abandon Ship Apparel // Jewellery - Noxious and Bloody Mary Metal // Dress - Topshop // Bag - New Look // Shoes - Adventure Time x Doc Marten // Jacket - Spartoo

If you do make one goal for the coming year, try to do something every day that scares you - I promise you won't regret it. Lets support and help each other along the way! I feel like I have come quite a distance since I wrote this post last January, and I'm a lot more calmer and connected to life and the people around me. I treat myself like a best friend rather than a bully, and that internal voice is no longer something that shouts and knocks me down at every opportunity. I've realised how important it is to have a healthy inner dialogue with yourself (I don't mean an imaginary friend, you know the voice I'm talking about! Hopefully... haha) Thank you for another fantastic year of blogging, reading, listening, talking, and friendships. I'll be raising a glass to you all at the bells! I'll see you on the other side...